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Mary Ann
Hello Friends,
I have waited 5 years to say this - today is the 5 year anniversary of
my diagnosis.
When I was first diagnosed, I did what most "newbies" do - I went
online to learn about ibc and to search the statistics. The numbers
scared me silly. I had a 16 and a 19 year old daughter, a husband I
was deeply in love with after 24 years of marriage. I couldn't bear
the thought of leaving them behind. As you can see, I didn't have to.
Why am I here when so many other good women are not? I don't know. I
certainly don't attribute it to my attitude - the sisters we have lost
had attitudes equal to mine - or better. I'm certainly no more
courageous than any one of them. My desire to live - no greater than
theirs. God's plan? Please, no. I won't ever believe that God chooses
one woman to die of this disease over another. I am simply here - no
more or less deserving than anyone.
Life has been interesting these past 5 years. IBC treatments, lack of
my ability to work, my husband's insistence on being at my side rather
than at work - caused our financial ruin. We lost our home to
foreclosure, and everything else except each other.
Through loans and grants and selling off our household "treasures", we
managed to put our oldest daughter through college and our youngest is
about to enter her senior year at Albion College. The oldest is about
to start law school at the University of Michigan - she plans to become
a prosecutor. Our youngest is majoring in Elementary Ed and hopes to
teach 1st grade. They will make our world a little better for all of
us.
A few months ago, I taught myself how to sew and am now selling chemo
hats. To my absolute surprise and astonishment, I am selling enough to
make a difference in the quality of our lives. We're not shopping at
Saks Fifth Avenue, but we are paying the phone bill on time. What a
relief!
There was one point a few months ago, when we were about to have our
electricity disconnected. A very kind stranger stepped forward and
gave us a gift of $400.00. She knows who she is. It made all the
difference in the world to us. We were able to keep going, and because
of her generosity, I was able to continue working on my home business.
So, we've had our ups and down. I'd be lying if I told you I had never
despaired. But those moments were rare.
I have continued to remain a part of this list because I want every
newbie to know that there is great hope out there. Disregard the
statistics. Live your life. At times treatment seems impossibly hard,
but you will get through it.
Today - on my 5 year anniversary, I am counting my blessings, and you
are one of them.
With hope,
Mary Ann
Jackson, Mi
Diagnosed at age 52 - 8/16/99
Treatment began 8/17/99 - 5 days after noticing symptoms
4 rounds Adriamyacin & Taxotere
Bilateral mastectomies
Taxol every 3 weeks for 4 months
36 rounds radiation
6 months weekly herceptin
NED - and praying that each of you will be, too.
Now designing/sewing and Selling (God willing) chemo hats, check me out
at:
http://www.cjhats.com
OR, If you prefer eBay:
http://stores.ebay.com/cjhats
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